HMD | October 2013

[these_balls]

EVALUATE MY BATTLING!

Trainer Tip: play nice and keep it civil.


things to keep in mind:
→ This is encouraged, not mandatory. We will not penalize you for not using it.
→ Feel free to link your personal HMDs if you would like, just in case someone doesn't want to use the mass HMD post.
→ this is more for actual critique and discussion. Please don't just blindly praise a person or just call them horrible. If someone's doing a wonderful job, you can tell them, just tell them why, or even where they're showing off bonus perks. If someone's doing a not-so-wonderful job, tell them why, give them things to improve on if you can. Examples, links, things that can give them something to work on. Meaning, no bashing, flaming, or nasty behavior. Please keep it civil.
→ Anonymous is turned on! But note: anonymous is a privilege, not a right. If it's being abused to bash players, please be sure to let one of us know and we'll step in or freeze threads if necessary. If anonymous is abused too much, it will be turned off for the next HMD.
→ Don't take this all too personally! Remember that roleplay is a game, and crit is supposed to help, not make you feel horribly. No one is perfect, we've all got room to improve. Please keep that in mind.

→ MOD/GAME HMD

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

You need to start proofreading your tags. There are a lot of typos and words that are transposed or otherwise misused in your tags, and they seem like things that could be easily fixed if you read over what you wrote before sending it. The misused words are often close to what you mean to say, so it's probably a case of a typo making another word. Spell check won't catch everything, you have to go back and proofread yourself.

I think you would also benefit from actually paying attention to how the people you play with format things. Not that you need to copy people exactly or do everything just like a certain person or certain people, but the way you format things is really hard to read. For example, in your tags there are very few line breaks and paragraphs tend to run together, making it hard to discern where one thought ends and another begins. I get that that might be part of the character, but it makes longer tags a headache and a half to read. Try breaking it up more, and put clean paragraph breaks instead of just single-spacing it. LONG BLOCKS OF CAPSLOCK EMPHASIS is also not necessary, at least not to the extent that you use it.

This last point may need to be taken with a grain of salt because it's been a while since I've seen the show, but I don't remember Crocker being nearly so self-pitying or prone to making obvious ploys for sympathy. Is there a reason he's been doing that in Route that I've missed?

[crackpotcrocker]

Will work more on the typos, sorry anon.

Mmmm, maybe I could say exclaims in brackets or something. His speech dialogue is rather odd since if you listen to the man speak, he can start out in a normal tone, start mumble talking out loud to himself or some variation of that (in a sentence!) and just normal text like this doesn't quite work to have him come off as insane.

Though I am sorry about the headache, anon. I'll try using the brackets to explain how his tone is changing.

He monologues about self pity/bitterness, not that other characters in the show listen to that.